Episode 2 Co-sleeping & How i Transitioned My Daughter into Her Own Room

Chloe Sacco  0:01  
Welcome to Good as gold. You're listening to this podcast because you're new to the wonderful world of parenting. You've got kids and you want to know you're not alone. Or you could be like us juggling business life and parent life. We talk about all things relationship business and mixing it all together. Join us in our journey in business, raising your kids and growing as a community. whatever it is you're doing, we hope you enjoy listening as much as we do sharing.

Welcome to good as gold.

Welcome to Episode Two of God as gold. I am so excited to bring this topic to you this week. This week we're talking about co sleeping and I know that this is quite a popular topic. So I'm very excited to share my experiences with you. We co slept Cassia for two and a half years. And let me start off by saying that there is absolutely no judgment. There are pros and cons. I did it for two years. So I can tell two and a half years I can tell you that there are pros and cons with CO sleeping there is no right or wrong way you do what works for you and your family. I we purely co slept I purely co slept out of survival. And cassia was not a great sleeper for the first almost three years of her life, she would wake up for the first three months every hour to the hour without fail. She was a hard nut to crack with sleeping I finally got her sleeping when she was almost three. But the reason that we co slept for two and a half years was purely out of survival so I was still working obviously we seem say gold and I could not function on an hour sleep broken and our sleep for three months by the first sort of, I remember I think it was about three weeks. I was like I'm gonna die if I do not sleep I'm gonna die so and that is why I ended up co sleeping and I loved it in the sense that I loved the cuddles and I loved having her there. And I will talk about this in depth a little bit later. But then I also didn't like it in the fact that it took me quite a while to actually get her to sleep properly. I really needed to retrain her to actually sleep so I made sure when I had charlize that I didn't I didn't do that with her but purely because I was in a good space with cassia. I didn't want to go through that again. We chalets

again, pros and cons of not doing it. But that worked for me. I sort of learned with cassia and I adapted and changed with charlize. So Charlize is probably slept in my bed maybe two or three times since she's been born and usually it's when she's sick. She's actually very different to cassia cassia was and still is very loving attachment type kid, whereas chalets when you put her to sleep, she obviously wants to be how she wants to cuddle. But once she's asleep, she's like, Get off me. I actually want to sleep on my own. So it worked for both of us really. And so charlize's

relatively resettled herself, which was which was nice again, that was sort of my

learning through cassia that I managed to get charlize to resettle herself. If Cassia used to make a noise, I would be straight wherever she was, whether it was in the bassinet, for the very few times that she actually stayed in a bassinet. I would be there within a second with Charlize's I let her have a little bit of a cry now I don't do the whole controlled crying thing

that stresses me out. I you know if she if she's crying, she obviously needs something. Again, this is all very personal and your own experiences and opinions. So you do what works for you with me. I can't have my kids screaming as stresses me out. So I will let it have a little bit of a cry. And usually she resettled herself and put herself back to sleep so if she's crying and screaming usually it's for a reason. So with with Cassia I was in there straightaway, I wouldn't even let her have any sort of niggling noise at all because I was like oh no what's happening so you learn with you second, I think it's a very different

a different way of bringing up your kids I think the way that yeah what happens with you third, you you adapt and you learn and you change. So I will also start off before I jump into the CO sleeping that if you are planning on co sleeping, there are websites that you can look at for instance, red nose.org has some great factual information. That is, it is good for safe methods and co sleeping so make sure you do check that out.

So as I said Cassia wasn't a very good sleep our first three months without fail on the hour every hour, she would be up.

I was as I said still working seven days a week I could not deal with no sleep. I was going to i like i said i was i felt like i was going to die after about three weeks. So and I was lucky in the sense that at that time, I was still working from home. We weren't we didn't need to

Part of the factory. So, if I needed to take a quick nap during the day, I was able to do that. Not that I really did that very often because when she napped, I was like, I've got 50,000 lines of washing to do or I had something else to do. But if I needed the nap, I could have it which was good. So the only way Cassia would physically actually go to sleep would be if she felt more so I knew her. She wouldn't. She wouldn't like she wouldn't even lay him in line or caught like that. Her car for the first two years. I actually thought to myself, why did I even buy a car She didn't even use it. And she literally went from our bed to her bed. She hated the car. I don't know what it was like I don't know what her thing was with a cart. But she absolutely hated her bassinet to really she hated anything about my bed but she definitely hated the cart. So if I was to wait for her to me in the deepest sleep ever try and put her down just moving her away from my body. She'd wake up and that was it. She was up so there was there was by that time I was like right Wait, she the only way she's sleeping is in my bed. The only way I'm sleeping is in my bed. And the only way I can work is her in my bed. So that's how we got to the quote sleeping stage. And I was happy with that I was too tired to care at that stage.

And I managed to do it for two and a half years. I enjoyed it. I loved the cuddles. I loved having her there. I felt like it was such a nice bond. I also it was good in a way also for my I guess mum guilt that because I was working so much and I was working such long hours, seven days a week. I felt like I was neglecting her a little bit and having her there with me at night I could give her a cuddle and she knew I was I was there I don't know. I mean it's it probably sounds silly. But yeah, the mom guilt really ate me out with the amount of time that I was working. And I didn't feel like I was spending enough time with her so yet the cuddles at night were welcomed with with Cassia out with Charlize's I have definitely stepped back a little bit from being physically at the warehouse. I am still working at home and on my phone seven days a week but they're there and I can put my phone down if I need to. Whereas with Cassia because we didn't have the staff we weren't able to do that. And I was I was still working a lot. So the cuddles and the CO sleeping was my my way of feeling like okay, I'm still there. And she she knows I'm still here. And so the other thing with Cassia was and the reason why I couldn't get her in her room eventually. Because I was heavily pregnant. I was like, Man, you're going in your room. Now you're almost three and you're going to have a sibling soon. And I can't have four of us in a queen bed because we are not going to fit. So I was on a mission to make sure that I got cassia into her bed before I had my second child which was obviously chalets. So the first thing Cassia was scared of her room. I don't know why she was scared of her room, she wouldn't even plane her room Shawn liner room. I remember during the day, there was about a week where I thought let me see if I can stay home a little bit more. During the day, I'll try and get her to have a nap in her bed at least she would be almost asleep like I'm talking on the brink of she could not keep her eyes open. And as soon as her eyes started closing and she was in her bed. That was it. She was awake. And she would absolutely wake yourself up and start crying and say I want to sleep on the couch or I want to sleep in your room. I wanted to sleep anywhere but her bed so she was not a fan of her room. So I thought right, okay, I need to get her to start liking her room first before I try to make her sleep in there. So what we would do is we I put all our toys in her room. One side of a room is obviously got a bed and all is pretty things the other side is full of toys. And even to this day, Maurice will still now go in and play blocks with her or he obviously retail booth at the time. So he'll read her book before she goes to bed, but they'll play blocks or they'll do something and she's got a dollhouse in there. They'll do some playing before the before the book. And then

she feels like that's a fun space instead of a scary space. So that's what we did to try and get her used to her room. And like I said she's three now and to this day, we still Maurice will still go in have a play with her, read a book. She's in a happy place. And then I'll go in and say okay, it's sleep time. And I'll see on her bed until she actually goes to sleep. So. So it takes about 21 days to break a habit. So the first say four to five days was hard work. She reverted back to the Let's wake up every hour. And it was definitely an hour to the hour for the first say three to five days. I can't remember exactly how long it was. But I remember that first few days were hard. And the thing that got me through those is I needed to make sure that I didn't cave and when she cried and said she didn't want to stay in her room that I just laid with her

calmed her down and told her was okay. And I did not sleep for that week that those three to five days I didn't sleep. So I was literally up with her every hour and it was hard. But after those initial few days of changing that habit, I started to see the wakeups would extend. So instead of her waking up every hour, it was every two to three hours. And slowly, slowly, the wakeups will just stretch out a little bit longer. And I thought, okay, we're finally getting somewhere. So I will always resettle her, put her back to sleep and tell her she could wake up in the morning. So whenever she saw that was dark, I would say to a cast here, it's still nighttime, you need to get back to sleep. And I would sit there and just calm her down and wait at her bed until she fell asleep again. So by the end of that, say fifth night, the the wake, the hourly wake ups turn to three to four hour early wake ups. And we turned the corner and I definitely saw that she wasn't scared to stay in her room anymore. It was more just now a readjustment in actually getting her to stay in a different room. So by the

third week, she would maybe wake up once or twice.

Even now she's been in her bed now for almost four months, five months now. And she still will wake up once or twice. And usually it's if she needs to go to the toilet or if she needs a drink or she wants a Poincare I do say to her Cassia, you can do these things yourself. If you need to go to the toilet. Yes, I can come and help you. But your drink bottles on your bedside table and your blinkers are out there just pull them out. But she likes to call me thing everything during the night. So but I don't mind. So if she's only waking up once or twice, I don't mind.

So the first week is hard. It is hard work. You just need to be firm and not allow them to go back into your bed. Because what I find is if you do that, then all then they just know they need to cry and then they're going to get their way. So I really tried my hardest to make sure that didn't happen. That was the main point that

you need to take out of if you are going to try and sleep train or get out of the CO sleeping to their own bed. Just be consistent. Having a schedule makes a big difference. Now I did not have schedules for especially kaseya due to working so late and seven days a week there were times where especially when we moved into the new warehouse. I remember being 9pm and I was still there and poor Cassia was used to sleep on the floor in a playpen. So the reason why her sleeping arrangements or the way that she used to sleep weren't great was was my fault. A lot of it was my fault because I was working so late I didn't have a regimented routine for her. Now when I had chalets I really made sure I had a routine for the two of them if I didn't if I don't have it if you don't have a routine for when you've got two kids, I feel like it's just a shambles. So I really implemented that when I had chalets to make sure they both went to sleep at the same time. If they both wake up during the night obviously I can't control that but they both relatively go to sleep at the same time and I and they both wake up around the same time and that is purely due to the routine. I know a couple of my friends said to me Chloe, you need to have a routine when I was you know bringing up Cassia out and I couldn't do it it just did not suit our family we were Maurice would work to nine pmrs would never say her and I was working pretty much the same sort of hours until we started getting a little bit difficult to do that. But even still I just never had a routine for because I was just too busy working so I think having a routine makes a big difference as well and as I said when you've got two kids it makes a huge difference I notice a massive difference yes you do miss out on some things so sometimes Maurice will go to places without me I will stay home with the girls if it's going to be if I know what's going to be a late night here and there we deviate from the routine so I'm not like you need to be in bed at eight o'clock every single night

Even if we've got something on We're going home like there are going to be times where you'll have things on and that's fine like I don't I can see to get stuck low especially chalet starts crying because she has she's had that routine from day dog. By 730 - 8 o'clock she's tired so I we usually have to end up going anyway but you know if we need to stretch it for a half an hour or an hour sometimes due to something being on then that's fine. So a lot of people say try the seven to seven method again, do what works for your family. If cosleeping works for you do it if the seven to seven works for you do it. Seven to seven didn't work for us again because of working Maurice would never see them. So just make sure you're doing what works for you. And there is no right or wrong way. So it was difficult to try and get her to stay in her room. But as I said after that first week, we got through the hard part of waking up every hour after that it was more just adjustments and getting her used to staying in a different room.

After that initial three to four weeks, we're in such a good space where she'd sleep at 830, both the girls go to bed. And they both usually wake up anywhere between 630 and seven o'clock, or, you know if they sleep in at 730. But by 730, everybody's up. So, which which works well for me, because I was when I was still going to the factory, and I still do go to the factory early. So they used to getting up early. And I liked the fact that they get up earlier because I do want them in bed by 830. If I could get them in bed earlier, I would.

But then again, Morris wouldn't see them. So the at 8pm bedtime works for us. So the, you know, in summary, having some sort of schedule definitely helps. And having a bit of a routine definitely helps trying to get them to enjoy this space more. So before you get them to sleep in a room. That definitely helps, even when you're styling their bedroom. Or like when we went from nursery to her big girl room. I she helped me with picking what she wanted in a room and I was little things but those little things like she gets excited when she sees her dolls swing, for instance, because she chose that and she wants the dolls to sit on the swing. And she plays with that. So giving them a bit of ownership about where they're actually sleeping and in their space. I think that helps a lot as well. So I definitely recommend

having those those things put in place before you start your sleeping routines with your kids. co sleeping is beautiful. And again, I will reiterate that it is not there is no right or wrong. It is your decision. If it works for you. You do that I am absolutely no sleep expert. I'm purely sharing my opinion and what I did and my experience you do you absolutely don't listen to what everybody else says as well. I think that was another thing that I fell into a lot of trap because so many people said to me, Chloe, don't let her sleep in your bed, don't co sleep, you're never going to be able to get them out.

And you know what they will write in a sense because it didn't it took me two and a half years to get her out. But I didn't care I actually liked it. So don't let people tell you that you shouldn't have them in your bed, just do what you want to do.

I hope that helps I I love bringing these episodes to you. I hope if you are in a position where you are moving from co sleeping to moving from to their own room, I hope these little steps help you. And it's a bit of a tough journey, like I said, about a month and you'll be fine. You've just got to stick it out and and help them through moving from to into a whole new space. So you've got to remember as well from their point of view, like they've been used to that room, and they've been used to having you there. It just will take a bit of time. So I hope that helps. And I am looking forward to hearing your experiences. We do have an Instagram page set up at goddess gold podcast. You're more than welcome to shoot us a DM or pop your experiences up on our posts as well. We would love to hear from you. Thanks for listening. Bye.

Thank you for listening to this week's episode of good as gold. We hope this episode has brought some value into your life and if it has, remember to subscribe and follow for weekly episodes. We want to grow this community so if someone you know will benefit from this podcast, please share it. In the meantime, we love what we do and we hope you do to stay amazing. Until next time, bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai